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Showing posts from 2008

Single bells...

In case you happen to be reading this and don’t know me (I highly doubt there’s anyone like that), you’d know that I’m a nineteen-year old Bangalorean who is currently in NITK Surathkal and wears his ‘Bangy-ness’ (if that’s a word) proudly on his sleeve. A consequence of my being in Surathkal is my limited social skills. My ‘conversation starters’ include “Saw the Man U match last week?” or “NFS Undercover lags on my comp maga. Yours?” or “Saw the latest Big Bang Theory episode? Sheldon rocks!” or “Quantum of Solace sucked, don’t you think?” or the likes, almost all of which, needless to say, don’t go down very well with the fairer sex. This is presumably why I have limited female acquaintances, let alone a girlfriend. Since high school, there has always been a group of us (a la G.R.O.S.S.) who’d take potshots and make fun of other guys who went around with girls who’d be merrily digging gaping holes in their pockets. But as I went from school to PU college and then to NITK, the numbe…

WHY?

Why, God? Why God???
Why is there religion on Earth? Isn't it supposed to make the social fabric stronger? Then why are we using religion to rip it apart? Whoever He is, I'm sure spreading terror isn't any God's way of spreading His message. If it is, then why worship such a 'God'? Why God? Why such a God? Why don't these ****ing terrorists understand this? Why do they let themselves be engulfed by fanaticism? Who're they trying to impress? Holding civilization at ransom isn't going to help their religion or their 'cause' in any manner. Then why do it? What turns a 20-something 'educated' person into a cold-blooded, remorseless terrorist? Why, God? Why God? And if colour-coding terror is the norm of the day, why aren't ALL these terror acts labelled green? Why can't we call a spade a spade?
The Creator created one Earth. Who are we to draw boundaries and make territories out of the it and fight wars over them? Why can't th…

What goes unsaid...

Moral of the story: What's simple is sensible :-)

The Great Indian Tamasha - The Ultimate Reaity Show!

Its that season again when Uncle Sam chooses its President and his deputy. This time, the seasoned White Elephant has chosen a rookie moose-catching Barracuda from Eskimo-land who seems to be the object of desire of many, including the President of Pakistan(may Ms.Bhutto's soul R.I.P). However, the media-loving Dark Donkey has won hearts (and a Hanuman statue) across America and the globe with his motto of 'I believe in omnipresence'. So as the four contenders battle it out face-to-face on American television with more than 50 million people watching, here's what might happen if our top desi netas would debate on TV...

There won't be enough space on the podium for all parties. Even if they can all somehow manage to squeeze themselves into a single stage, there will be more melee on stage than when a cat is let loose into a dog show.
Assuming the first task is complete and we have managed to get all the 'leaders' onto the podium, seating them is another issue…

No chinta...only money!

There're many many things in life I want(read PSP, iPhone, iMac, a shiny red Ferrari and a 42-inch HDTV to name just a few), but a fundamental need for everything material on Earth is Money. Duddu. Paisa. Dabbu. Kaasu. In the endless pursuit of the ever-elusive Miss M, we resort to all sorts of things, both mentionable and unmentionable...lets not get into that. Yet there're a few things one can do for a living (and a rather luxurious one at that) being in Bengalooru or in any city for that matter, with a rather small starting capital and virtually no exit plan required.
Start a +2 /PUC/AIEEE/IIT-JEE coaching centre. And the rest is history. All you need to be is a smooth talker who can easily brain-wash parents, and that's not that big a deal considering the fact that well, everyone with children aged 16-18 are really anxious about their childrens' future and understandably so. Borrow a few questions from a few 'standard' books and voila, the material is ready…

They are the real Champions!

The greatest show on Earth has been a stupendous success so far with an estimated TV viewership of a staggering 3 billion world over(which I'm not part of, thank you NITK!) and ever sinceSarah Brightman and Liu Huan sang the official song You and Me on the large spinning globe at the Bird's Nest on 08/08/08, Beijing has managed to get just about everything right. And what an Olympics we've had so far, be it Michael Phelps' domination of everything that had H2O written on it to Isinbaeva raising the bar and our excitement, one centimetre at a time or the fancied American Gays who were at the receiving end of the Jamaican lightning Bolts event after event on the track. But apart form these extraordinary people, there have been a host of other great men and women who, through sheer practice and their never-say-die attitude have broken all imaginable barriers of the mind and body in dramatic fashion. Here are just a few such unsung heroes of the XXIX Summer Olympics at Bei…

ತ್ರಿಶಂಕು ಸ್ಥಿಥಿ!!!

NITK. ಈ ಹೆಸರು ಕರ್ನಾಟಕದದವರಿಗೆ KREC ಎಂದೇ ಪರಿಚಯ. ರಾಷ್ಟ್ರ ಮಟ್ಟದ ಉತ್ತಮ ತಂತ್ರಙ್ನಾನ ಕಾಲೇಜೊಂದು ನಮ್ಮ ರಾಜ್ಯದಲ್ಲಿರುವುದು ನಾವು ಹೆಮ್ಮೆ ಪಡಬೇಕಾದ ವಿಚಾರ. CETಯನ್ನೂ ಮೀರಿದ AIEEE ಎಂಬ ಪರೀಕ್ಷೆಯನ್ನು ಬರೆದು ನಮ್ಮ NITKಯಂತಹ ಸಂಸ್ಥೆಗಳನ್ನು ಪ್ರವೇಶಿಸಬಹುದು. ಬಹುಷಹ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ರೀತಿಗಳಲ್ಲಿ NITK ಕರ್ನಾಟಕದ ಯಾವುದೇ ಕಾಲೇಜಿಗಿಂತಹ ಉತ್ತಮ. ಆದರೆ ನಮ್ಮಲ್ಲಿ ಹಲವರಿಗೆ ಇದರ ಇರುವಿಕೆಯ ಬಗ್ಗೆಯೇ ತಿಳಿದಿಲ್ಲ! ಯಾವುದೋ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯವನಾಗಿದ್ದರೆ ಸರಿ ಎನ್ನಬಹುದು. ಆದರೆ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು, ಮೈಸೂರಿನಂತಹ ದೊಡ್ಡ ನಗರಗಳಲ್ಲೂ ಸಾಕಷ್ಟು ಜನರಿಗೆ NITKಯ ಪರಿಚಯ ಇಲ್ಲವೇ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಹಲವು ಬಾರಿ ಈ ಮದುವೆ-ಮುಂಜಿಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಎಂದೂ ಭೇಟಿಯಾಗದ ಅತಿ ದೂರದ ಸಂಬಂಧಿಕರು ಅಥವಾ ಹಳೆಯ ಸ್ಕೂಲ್ ಮೇಷ್ಟ್ರುಗಳು ಅಥವಾ ಪಕ್ಕದ ಬೀದಿಯವರು ಭೇಟಿಯಾದಾಗ ನನ್ನನ್ನು "ಏನಯ್ಯಾ? ನೀನು ಇವನ ಮಗ ತಾನೆ? ಎಷ್ಟು ದೊಡ್ಡದಾಗಿ ಬೆಳ್ದಿದ್ದೀಯ!" ಎಂದು ಕೇಳುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಆ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗೆ ಅತಿ ಸೂಕ್ತ ಉತ್ತರ ನನಗೆ ಇಂದಿಗೂ ತಿಳಿದಿಲ್ಲ!. ಹಾಗೆಯೇ ಅವರು "ಏನ್ ಓದುತ್ತಿದ್ದೀಯಪ್ಪ?" ಎಂದು ಕೇಳಿದಾಗ ನಾನು ಹೆಮ್ಮೆಯಿಂದ "NITK ಸುರತ್ಕಲ್" ಎಂದು ಉತ್ತರಿಸಿದರೆ ಅವರು "ಏನು??? CETಯಲ್ಲಿ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಅಂಕಿ ಬಂದಿತ್ತಲ್ಲಪ್ಪ... ಹೋಗಿ ಹೋಗಿ ಅಂಥ ಕಾಲೇಜಾ ಸೇರೋದು? RV ಅಥವಾ PES ಸೇರೋದು ತಾನೆ!" ಎನ್ನುತ್ತಾರೆ! ಇಂಥವರಿಗೆ ಏನು ಹೇಳಬೇಕೋ ನನಗಂ…

Reality Check

Ask your parents what TV meant for them in their heydays and they'll tell you that the Indian idiot would love his Hum Log, Mahabharat, Chitrahaar or simply catch Prannoy Roy' crisp news on Doordarshan. Then there was a simpleton SRK in Fauji and Circus. Needless to say, desi telly has changed by leaps and bounds since then. Indian television has since then become genre-specific. From the game-shows like Star's KBC and Sony and Zee's forgettable attempts to dethrone the Big B to exceedingly deadening 'family' soaps and the Indian Idols, SaReGaMaPa's, we've now been bitten by the reality bug and how! We all know about the hype and the TRPs that these shows generate. The Shinjini Sengupta case couldn't have come at a better time to warn us that we're going way overboard with such 'reality' shows. She is but one of a million such aspirants who dream of making it big in this flagitious industry. With parents pushing their kids to unimaginabl…

Malnad Musings: Part II

Distant relatives’ weddings are two-faced occasions. On one hand you wouldn’t want to attend some far relative’s wedding because you won’t be involved in anything else but lunch. And for someone like me who stays in a hostel (NITK hostel, at that), no delicacy can beat home foods so there’s no point in being there at all. On the other hand, you get to hear things like “You’ll never know any of your relatives are if you don’t come to such weddings” and “We can’t ask you to come with us when you’re not at home, can we?” and other such lines. So if you end up going (as is the case with me more often than not), you feel like a complete alien in the sea of people at the party. Occasionally you’ll be encountered by relatives whom you had seen once or twice in all your life coming up to you and exclaiming ”Oh you’re so-and-so’s son! You’ve grown so big!” for which a fake smile is the best response that I can ever think of! Your only hope will be to find someone of the same generation if not …

Malnad Musings: Part I

When we think of tourism in Karnataka, the only places that come to mind are the temples and forts at Mysore, Srirangapatna, Belur, Halebid or the ruins of Hampi, Badami, Aihole and the likes... Places like Coorg and Kemmangundi are growing more popular these days as weekend getaways. But Karnataka is more than just these places...
In this post and the next few I'll try and take you to some relatively unknown yet magnificent places in the Malnad region of the state('Male' in Kannada means mountain and 'nadu' means land).



I'll start with a lesser known place called Samse. Samse is in the Chikmaglur district and is some 10-15km from Kalasa town along the Sringeri-Kudremukh road which is on the way towards Horanadu, a popular pilgrimage centre. The best time to visit Samse is just before the onset of the monsoon(that's exactly when we went). Now the journey itself offers some breath-taking views of the Ghats. I was told a family friend's relative had a hous…

Fish out of the water speaks out-of-the-box!

There's an application in Ubuntu called Wanda the Fish, the Fortune teller that spews out little pearls of wit, wisdom and slapstick humour on demand... some of it is arbit though. Since no good game works in Linux(THE reason why I love Windows) this I guess is the best thing to do when you're bored and you're on Linux(well you better have a good reason turn on Linux in the first place, unless of course you have people like Mr.Kini around). Here are just a few of the Wanda-isms:

You look like a million dollars. All green and wrinkled.Do something unusual today. Pay a bill.Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. What's a light-year? A: One-third less calories than a regular year.
-Best of all is never to have been born. Second best is to die soon.-Excellent day to have a rotten day.-Q: What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common? A: The same middle name.
-Your lucky color has faded.
-Cauti…

Who cares???

We're from INDIA. 'We're the next BIG thing'. 'India Everywhere!'.'Watch out West, here we come!' 'The next century belongs to India and China.' 'Dragon v/s Tiger'. Everytime we see such lines on news-deprived news channels or in some tabloids, we gloat blithely and satisfacorily. Agreed. We have managed to change the idea that the west has of India from being a land of snake-charmers to an extremely promising land with prodigal kids and extremely talented youth who vie for the same jobs as them and in most cases, get them too. We have arrived. But in the midst of all this growth, there's one thing that we've allowed to come into our lives so much that now we hardly seem to notice it despite it staring in the eye - the 'Who cares' attitude.

In the wake of this middle-class affluence and the new-found splurging power, we, the urban Indian youth, seem to be a rather confused lot. We slog it out at work for 5 days during whic…

Scratch scratch....

Ours is a land of many paradoxes. Its probably only in India that you get to see an E-Class or a BMW 7 Series drive past a slew of slums (and sometimes kill a few of the slum-dwellers as well...) and flyovers built on stinking open drains. But here are a few things that I feel are utterly inexplicable to me; no matter how much sense I try to make of these. My why's and how's have never been answered so far and I keep hoping that they will be answered someday. The coming posts(including this one) are dedicated to these profound unanswered mysteries...


What IS it about mothers who won't let their teenaged sons drive a car or ride a bike through the city streets??? Why can't they trust their own children when it comes to traffic issues???Flashback: 2004 A.D.

My Class 10 Board exams are over and the results are out. I've got a decent percentage. Soon I'll be going to COLLEGE. For us Class 10 students, PU college is like a ticket to freedom. It means you can bunk wh…

Bollywood - Have we had enough of the masala and the naach-gaana???

A few days back I came across an article in which the writer, while calling for more movies like Taare Zameen Par instead of masala flicks like Om Shanti Om, felt that it was high time that Indian cinema 'came of age'. Well, having grown up on a generous dose of Suraj Barjatya(I've lost count of how many times they've shown HAHK on TV! ), Aditya Chopra, Karan Johar and the likes, I must agree that our movies must have more substance but on the other hand, we mustn't forget that the aam junta still loves the naach-gaana and the song sequence shot in Switzerland ala Yash Chopra(this is nowadays replaced by an item number featuring some exotic beauty)... We always dreamt of being there, hand-in-hand with our loved ones amidst the snow-capped mountains; we always wished that our padosan would be a Saira Banu (or a Priyanka Chopra these days); we dreamt of saving the day by hitting a six in the last ball of the match or rescue a damsel in distress from her evil stepmoth…